The Truth About the P Word and Steps to Combat it


This is a post I never thought I’d write about.  I’ve always wanted to turn away and pretend that this abuse doesn’t exist.  It is such a disgusting subject, and for too long I felt that there wasn’t anything I could do to help, so why read about it?  But we as a society have been burying our heads in the sand for too long.  We’ve looked the other way.  We didn’t know what to do so we did nothing. 

Thank God for the women and men braver than I who have spoken up and learned to help victims.  As a “storybook” mother we don’t want to think something horrific could happen to our children, but we need to be informed and help put an END to pornography.  We must hear the truth so that we can help those in bondage know that the truth of Jesus can set them free.

The other day I saw a headline that I didn’t want to click on, but decided that I must.  I’m glad I did, because my eyes have been opened.

Jessica Neely was a pastor’s daughter.  She saved herself for marriage.  She felt close to God and spoke to young women about abstinence.  And one Easter Sunday she was raped in a parking lot.  She was screaming at God inside her head, “This is what I saved myself for? This isn’t right! It shouldn’t be happening to ME!”

I believe she kept the rape a secret.  She didn’t understand the need to tell others and her parents.  She didn’t understand about trauma and PTSD.  She felt she was no longer worthy, and felt abandoned by God.  Her hurt turned into wanting revenge on all men.  She wanted them to PAY.  In her rage and torment, she decided that becoming an escort, and later a prostitute, would somehow make men pay for her trauma, but of course it only exacerbated her pain. 

An ex-boyfriend told her parents about her new lifestyle and they tried to come get her, but she refused, because she was making men PAY and earning more than the attorneys around her.  But the payment was never enough to make her pain go away.

From prostitution, she went into amateur pornography.  A new “friend” helped her get into the Los Angeles porn industry. 

I was absolutely shocked by what I heard.  I knew the industry existed, but I had no idea that only 1% of people ever escape the industry – the other 99% DIE.  They are used from age 18 to 23, abused repeatedly, and thrown away.  Both women and menMen suffer just as much as the women, yet you never hear their stories. Probably because they are dead.

Once in this industry, they can’t get real jobs.  They can’t function as adults.  They have no idea how to live normally.  They have no idea how to escape.  It’s the only way they know how to pay the rent. They discover that no one wants to hire them, or date them, let alone marry them.  They are shunned and rejected by society.  They then become drug addicts and are soon suicidal.  The majority have never heard of the love of Jesus and his saving power. 

Many hear voices that tell them they are worthless, and to kill themselves.  99% of these men and women are dead by age 30.

Shockingly, the people that enter this industry really think it is going to make them famous and rich.  MOTHERS even bring their DAUGHTERS to the set.  I can’t imagine the level of sickness of soul to do this to your daughters and sons.  I’ve heard that coaches and fathers are often the ones who accidentally or purposefully introduce their children to P through magazines.

I encourage you to listen to the interview with Jessica Neely and Jonathan Van Maren, on The Van Maren Show at  Episode 2: Former Porn Actress Exposes Truth About Porn. Don’t listen with children nearby. Listen to it with your husband after the kids are in bed. We need to know these truths so that we can help expose other people to the truth. When we encounter others discussing it, we must speak the truth!

WE, as women, need to start speaking up about getting rid of pornography.  We can’t keep looking the other way.  People are accepting it as common in CHILDREN.  This is not okay!  We need to be protecting our children, and everyone.  WE MUST GET INVOLVED.  We have to SPEAK UP.  Politely, but firmly. 

For years I complained at drugstores and superstores and grocery stores about the magazines on display, to management.  When enough people started doing this, it made a difference.  I no longer see these filthy mags in the checkout line.  My voice helped be part of the solution.

When I went to get my car fixed and there were Maxim mags on the table, I complained at check out and said if they were there when I came in again, I would leave.  They weren’t there the next time. 

When we were looking for a new barber for my son we went into a really cool shop near our home.  My son loved the shop, the barber, and the haircut, but I didn’t love the stack of mags.  One that a customer brought in and left I moved to the bottom of the stack. The barber saw me do this, and now the magazines are women friendly.  I didn’t even have to ask the barber to do this.  He does it because he is a decent man and gets that porn is not okay.  He is protecting those who visit his shop.

Women and men who have spoken up to management in libraries, airlines, and other public places are able to help combat the too-lenient policies and change them to help protect others against this filth.  WE MUST SPEAK UP.  If we don’t speak up, then we are saying it is okay. We are condoning it.  We must SPEAK and WRITE letters to management, the newspaper, online comments, etc.

We also need to be aware of our children being sexualized through DANCE CLASSES: The Scary Trend in Childrens Dance Please, please, please if you have children in dance classes read this article! Watch her 4 minute video. There is also a link to an R-rated version of her talk where she goes into detail – I couldn’t take it and had to shut it off. But please watch her video without the graphic parts.

If a dance outfit isn’t modest, then speak up! Don’t let your child degrade herself. She’s too young to “get” it. You, the parent or grandparent or niece or aunt or neighbor need to SPEAK UP and say “That outfit isn’t okay. That dance move isn’t okay.” We have to stand our ground against the sexualization of today’s children!!!

President Trump has done several things to help combat human trafficking. Here is the link to the entire transcript Remarks By President Trump In Meeting On Human Trafficking On The Southern Border released Feb. 1, 2019.
The part that caught my eye – SECRETARY NIELSEN said: The President mentioned the Super Bowl….We have made over 40 arrests, and some of the victims that we have saved unfortunately include underage children that had been brought in for the purposes of being sold and abused as part of Super Bowl activities.

And then this, from MR. BALLARD:  “One little girl I can tell you about. In fact, I introduced this little girl to Ms. Trump during a private briefing. This little girl was kidnapped in Central America. Eleven years old. Groomed for two years with the intent of getting her ready to come to America. Why? Because we are the highest-consuming nation of child pornography. We are the clientele that’s the big money.

“They brought this little girl through a part of the southern border where there was no wall, easily got her to New York City. And this is hard to hear but this is the truth, and everyone needs to hear this. This little girl — and this is very typical — raped for money every day, 30 to 40 times a day. If that’s not a crisis, if that’s not an emergency, I don’t know what is.

“Now, let me say this: Had there been a wall, had there been a barrier, this little girl likely would have been saved, because the traffickers would have been forced to take this child through the port of entry where we have amazing law enforcement. I’ve worked with these people. These are the best people on the planet. They can detect. They have equipment. They have trained agents.

“In contrast, while this was happening, I was working another case. A little boy — a Mexican boy who was kidnapped by an American trafficker, by a child pornographer. He kidnapped Mexican children, brought them to San Bernardino County, where he had a makeshift studio, made child porn with these little children. Five years old.

“This little boy was kidnapped in Mexicali, Mexico where there was a wall, where there is a barrier. And so he was forced to take this little boy through the Calexico port of entry. And guess what? It worked. We captured him. We rescued the little boy, and subsequently rescued 12 other children in San Bernardino, California.”

If you want to watch the video of the entire meeting in the Cabinet Room, here it is:

What can I, as one person, DO?

#1:  We need to speak up when we see any type of pornography and declare that it is not okay.  Many of the problems in our society today have the stem root of pornography.  Let’s pull out that root together.  Get involved!  Speak up!  Write!  Draw attention to it and help combat it! If you speak the truth, some will disagree, but many people will be encouraged to speak the truth as well. They just don’t want to be the first. So gather your courage and speak up! Ask God to give you the words.

#2:  WikiHow has steps to help you talk with someone who might have a P addiction on how to end it. 

Here is an article about P and a DVD series that can help someone find the way out:  I’ve no idea if the series is any good, but it is available on Amazon as well (affiliate link) The Conquer Series. Expensive though, which is too bad. 

There are books to help as well, such as Every Man’s Battle, and Every Woman’s Battle.

#3  When you read about how Trump’s law Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act (FOSTA) is hurting sex workers who want to be in the industry, remember that that is a lieALL of those sex workers want OUT.  They just don’t know how to escape.  I disliked reading this article from,* but it is important to know the truth.  Jenna said:  “It was torture for seven years. I was miserable, I was lonely, I eventually turned to drugs and alcohol and attempted suicide. I knew I wanted out, but I didn’t know how to get out.” 

*FTND Note: Brittni Ruiz (real name) did eventually get out and now uses her story to spread awareness on the harms of the porn industry. 

The other “stars” who spoke in this article mentioned how they have to LIE to the public, telling them they love working in the industry.  Remember, that while some began willingly, they quickly became VICTIMS.  They need our HELP, not our criticism. Satan means P for evil, but God is redeeming the lives of the men and women coming out of it to help others escape.

#4  GIVE to organizations that help get people OUT of the industry.  Personally, I’ve given to Hoving Home for many years.  One day I saw a prostitute and was repulsed by her.  I turned on the radio and it was an interview with Dr. John Benton.  He and his wife started a home to help prostitutes and drug addicts.  For decades Dr. Benton and his wife went into the worst parts of Los Angeles to rescue these women from their pimps.  He had God’s hand on him mightily (they both died a few years ago of old age).  By the time I got home, I had compassion for the woman I had just seen and asked God for forgiveness of my attitude.  I immediately called the Hoving Home to get on their mailing list and have given bi-annually ever since.  Please check out their website and consider giving to them.  I’ve been to their fundraisers and I can see the good they are doing.

“It is seldom that any of our bad habits disappear by natural extinction. It is seldom done through reasoning or by determination. But what cannot be destroyed can be dispossessed – one taste may give way to another. For a reigning affection to lose its power it must be replaced by the expulsive power of a new affection (desire).  It is through faith in Jesus Christ, as the Spirit of adoption is freshly poured into us – it is then that the heart, brought under the mastery of one great and predominant affection, is delivered from the tyranny of his former desires. It is the only way in which deliverance is possible.”  Thomas Chalmers from his sermon The Expulsive Power of a New Affection. Robin Padanyi shared this quote on the website

Jessica Nealy said something similar – it is all about surrender.  Surrendering your life to Christ can get you out of the industry. God is redeeming the pain Jessica went through by speaking the truth about this industry and helping others escape from it.

We, who are not into pornography, need to SHOUT along with the few voices who escaped the industry, that all pornography needs to end.  We need to blaze the trail for people to get out.  We need to protect people from getting in.  We cannot allow ANY type of pornography into our homes at all. 

#5 We need to rid our homes of many teen, women’s and men’s magazines, posters teens may have put up, tv shows that don’t glorify God, all R rated movies, and even many PG movies. 

We need to say, “No, we won’t watch it.  We won’t listen to it.  It is not edifying.  I will not put it before my eyes.  I will not let my children see it, hear it, or read it.  I will set an example for my children!  I will be the good example!  I will pave the way!”

Now go purge your home of any books, movies, old videos, posters, and magazines that you wouldn’t lend to Jesus. And don’t give them away. Put them in the trash where they belong!

May God bless you as you become the GATEKEEPER for your home!


Illustration of girl on beach is by Arthur Sarnoff


  1. Wow, this is a powerful post and I thank you for writing it. I’m so sick and sad over this. I def don’t want to sit back and do nothing. Thank you for sharing ways to be proactive. Blessings to you.

    1. Thank you, Sharon. It is definitely something no one wants to look at or talk about, but we must not be silent any longer. Thank you for being the first to comment!

  2. Thank you so much for this post.
    I am a Christian, but I am also a USA Today Bestselling author of erotic romances. For years, I have battling with myself, knowing I shouldn’t be writing them, but at the same time, not being able to stop because the money is so good (and, if I’m honest, I like writing them).
    That last part was so powerful: purge what you wouldn’t lend to Jesus.
    I would not lend my books to Jesus. Nor would I lend them to any of the people at my church.
    This was so convicting.
    Thank you.

    1. Thank you for such a sincere response. I appreciate your candor. We like our sins, don’t we? That is why we do them. But the discord in our mind and our soul tells us we need to stop, because in the end it harms us. But we like it so much! May I suggest your prayer be similar to mine? “Lord, help me to be willing to stop my sinful behavior. Help me to replace it with what is right in your eyes.”

      Years ago I read books I wouldn’t read today. Today, my favorite romances are 100 years old and still relevant, by Grace Livingston Hill. May I encourage you to read a few? Some of them are excellent and the writing is still fresh. GLH’s books are pure, and they are still being read. Her books still live and inspire people! You can do that, too, with God’s help.

      You can write about awakening desire in a dead marriage. Isn’t that what your readers really want? They aren’t getting it from their husband, and are trying to get it from your words. You can create a new series without going over to the dark side. You can show them how to awaken his desire, and you can show single women what a true Christian marriage looks like, from the God who invented sex, without crossing the line. You can be the author of books you would be proud to hand to your future adult grand-daughter.

      K, I’m working on a blog post that you many never see, unless you happened to subscribe. When it is finished, I’ll mention it in this section, in case you ever come back to see if I answered you. May God bless you as you follow His will.

    2. The post is called A Breath-Taking, Heart-Stirring, Enchanting Marriage.


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