FW 11: A Woman Worthy of Being ONE


The Original 1922 Fascinating Womanhood Pamphlets

Let’s continue our discussion about what makes a woman worthy of being ONE (and won) from a man’s point of view. My essay is the same as the video.


Eighty percent of men say they want their wife to be well-dressed.  And this does not mean in business suits, either.  This means in pretty, flattering colors and modest dresses, with silky hair and well-groomed nails. 

I just watched a video on the five new trends of the season, and I won’t be wearing three of the five, because I know that these three trends are not clothing that men like on women, and if I were to buy them my husband and son would shout “VETO!” as I modeled them! 

One of the trends is jeans.  That has got to be the stupidest trend I can think of, because everyone wears jeans already. Oh, so they’ve changed a little detail.  Big deal!  What a waste of money.  Unless you are hiking, a man would rather see a woman in something more feminine, not jeans. 

Last year I bought what I thought was a darling denim dress, and my husband and son both said that “denim is not darling.”  So I ended up taking it back, and donating a denim top I rarely wore because neither of them liked it.  On second glance, I realized they were right.  Denim is common.  Denim is boring.  Jeans are for gardening or hiking or cleaning out the garage. 

If you love the comfort of jeans, instead of the everyday casual blue, try choosing white, off white, navy, or black.   You will actually look more “put together.”

I went to an awards ceremony today, and the students were dressed up, but only half of the parents were.  One mom shook her head and said, “I didn’t even think about getting my own picture taken.  Why did I wear jeans?!”  While another mom looked gorgeous in a black dress with embroidered roses all over it.  She was wearing black nylons and heels that looked nice with the dress and weren’t platforms.  She’d curled her long hair and looked elegant and classy. 

Let’s elevate our wardrobe, ladies!  Let’s enjoy dressing as women!  Let’s look nicer every day. 

We need to go through our clothes and ask, “Is this masculine?  Or feminine?  Is this my color?  Does this garment flatter my body shape?”

Another trend is blazers.  I used to wear blazers to work.  But why would I want to wear an austere blazer at home, or at church, or even at a meeting, when I could instead wear a softening cardigan?  I did see one woman in a stunning aqua blazer that looked feminine because of the color, but blazers overall give you a masculine physique.  If you must wear one, be sure to have it tailored to give your waist definition.  Women think other women look chic in blazers.  But men don’t think that way.  Men are more attracted to women in dresses, sweater sets, or blouses and cardigans, than they are to women in blazers or suits.

Another trend is patterned pants.  Oh, boy!  Most women will need to stay away from this trend, sorry.  If you are slender and under 30 you can probably pull it off.  Men wouldn’t wear patterned pants, so you can’t say that this trend is masculine.  But it also isn’t feminine.  Most of the time the pattern will drive the person you are talking with nuts because often the pattern will annoy their eyes.  Patterned pants are distracting.  Some of you fashionistas may be able to pull it off, but be careful!  Will you look back at pictures and say, “What was I thinking?!” A patterned, tailored skirt will usually be more attractive, and less distracting, than pants.

Another trend is silk blouses.  Now, if you are in great shape, definitely buy one.  Silk is beautiful, soft, feminine and can make you look loveable.  However, silk can also show off every curve…and lump.  Be careful! 

The trend I will be buying is:  LACE.  Lace tops that show off your arms or your calves will look lovely on everyone….as long as your bra straps do not show, and as long as your upper legs and the trunk of your body are well covered, and as long as it is in your proper color.

I also bought an inexpensive black and white checkered purse because that is a trend that will look great when my outfit is all black and I do not want a pop of color purse, such as pink, for when I am attending a funeral or a memorial service.  Plan ahead for these life events, ladies.  Take a picture of the outfit with your purse, shoes, hosiery, undergarments that work well with the outfit and your JEWELRY, which completes your look.  Hang the picture in your closet or put it into a binder.

Our Bodies

Beautiful homemakers, we need to make peace with our bodies.  We need to bless and be thankful for the body God gave us.  I want you to stand before a full-length mirror and thank God for:

  • your beautiful hair and eyes,
  • your lovely skin,
  • your pearly white teeth,
  • the curve of your neck,
  • your built-in baby feeders (I have to be careful what words I use on YT),
  • the tummy that stretches to carry a child,
  • your strong arms that help your lovely hands that care so much for others,
  • your tush that seats you comfortably and attracts your darling husband (or your soon to be DH),
  • your long legs that support you,
  • your beautiful feet that do the work of the Lord, taking you were you need to go. 

God created your body.  Are you going to keep complaining to Him about it?  Or are you going to thank Him for it, and get stronger in body and spirit this year?

Was Lori Actually Right?

There are a few more things we must cover in what men say they look for in a woman worthy of being won.  Lori over at The Transformed Wife drew a lot of ire years ago when she said something like, “Men want to marry debt-free, non-tattooed virgins.”  The thing is, research proves that she was right. 


We already touched several times (in prior videos) on how debt can cause a man to think twice about marrying you, so if you cannot graduate from college without debt, I ask you to prayerfully reconsider if you should start your adult life off with a massive school loan. 


Regarding tattoos, there are many women today that have them, but amongst themselves, men call those tattoos “tramp stamps.”  It’s your body to decorate as you please, but fashions change, and you may seriously regret this later as a fashion faux pas.  Imagine having to dress like it is 1974 every day for the rest of your life.  That is what an old, faded tattoo is like. 

Also, don’t be surprised when children laugh at you.  I’ll never forget a classroom of children bursting our laughing and pointing at their teacher’s vacation picture.  She had no idea why, but I could immediately see it, because I saw it the first time I saw her.  She has one sleeve – one arm covered in tattoos, and the other is bare.  In the picture we could see that she also has only one leg tattooed, which gives an illusion of fullness.  So, every day of her life this woman looks lopsided to onlookers.  I’m sure “comical” was not the look she was going for – but it is the result that she got.

Another real problem with tattoos is that they stretch when you gain weight, and distort when you lose it.  I have seen some funny ones in the locker rooms at the hot springs.  You may think that you still have a beautiful butterfly or kitty cat, but you probably don’t.  Most women do regret their tattoos as they age. 

And did you know that tattoos (and body piercing) can easily introduce toxic foreign substances into your body and bloodstream, and may even cause a potentially deadly infection?

Some naturopaths warn that those tiny puncture wounds may block important electrical nerve impulses that are just under your skin, as well.

So, can you get into heaven with a tattoo?  Of course you can, because all of our sins are forgivable, if we ask for forgiveness from God.

“But my tattoo isn’t of something sinful, mine says John 3:16!” or is of a cross, or is a picture of Jesus, some will say.  But does that really glorify God?  Leviticus 19:28 says, “Do not cut your bodies for the dead, and do not mark your skin with tattoos. I am the LORD.”  Most people don’t even know that that verse is in the Bible. 

When you are a Christian and you make Jesus Lord over your life, you put away fleshly desires and ask Him to direct your paths.  God says He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, so He hasn’t changed His mind about tattoos.  Don’t deceive yourself that it glorifies Him, even if it is a Bible verse. 

Would you tattoo a darling, soft-skinned, beautiful little baby?  No?  Then treat your own body as well as you would treat a baby’s, because you are God’s little girl, and to Him, a tattoo would be like graffiti on the precious body He gave to you.


And for the last part of Lori’s viral statement, men want to marry a virgin.  Men who don’t care about marrying a virgin don’t care because they don’t want to get married.  You should only be intimate with one person whom you are committed to before God.  Be faithful.  Be pure.  Save yourself for your darling husband.

I watched one video of a fairly well-known man say in a discussion that he expects S E you know what by the 5th date.  A kiss on the first, and each date gets more physical.  If she refuses, he dumps her because, “She’s not so special.”  Guess what, ladies?  Since he’s still not married, that means he dumps her anyways, after he sleeps with her, so either way there is no date 6.  Don’t give your most precious gift to a man who isn’t committed to you!

Giving yourself away to someone who is not your husband can cause you much social, relational, emotional, and spiritual angst.  You may think you are in love, or you may just be  trying to keep him interested…but you actually just lost him, because men love to chase, and once you are caught, the mystery is gone. 

If, after date three, you realize that this guy isn’t marriage material, you need to let him go.  Don’t continue on with a man who only wants a mistress.  Don’t think that you can reform him.  

For the past 60 years we have been living in hard times thanks to The Pill.  Instead of true love where souls are cherished and protected, one night stands leave both men and women lonely – but it is much worse on women. 

Men really DO NOT expect you to sleep with them on the first (or the fifth) date, as some movies and magazines portray.  Men say that it is their job to pursue, and that it is YOUR job to block.  YOU are the gatekeeper.  But if you are steeped in trash tv and movies, filthy “beauty” magazines, and surrounded by toxic women who quash all God-given feminine virtues, you’ll believe the lie.

VALUE YOURSELF by protecting your modesty.  Be different.  Be chaste.  Men do not want a “loose” woman for a wife.  Plus, since men love to pursue, if you give in, then what will he be pursuing?  He doesn’t even know you yet!  Don’t give to him what is reserved for your husband!  Because once you do, this guy will soon be pursuing someone else.

If the man you are dating IS on the marriage path, however, you need to be upfront with him about your expectations and boundaries, after date three.  There is a secular movie called “My Name is Sarah” in which a woman decides she is no longer going to sleep with any man who is not her husband.  After a few dates when her new man wants to get physical, she tells him her boundary, and he isn’t happy.  He walks out.  The movie shows her sadness at his decision to leave, but she holds her head high and sticks to the boundary that keeps her safe.  I absolutely loved the ending, and the special gift her beloved surprises her with.  (Don’t watch the terrible trailer.  Just watch the movie!)

One important definition of being chaste means to be innocent of unlawful sexual intercourse.  I imagine most people today will ask, “What do you mean ‘unlawful?’”  We don’t think of adultery or fornication (which is unmarried people having sex) as being unlawful anymore, do we? 

But if you are not married and are have consensual sex, then you are having unlawful sexual intercourse, for you are having sex outside of the boundary (the safety) of marriage.  It may no longer be outside of society’s laws, but it is still outside of God’s laws, and His boundary is meant for your protection. 

Every time a woman has sex with a man who is not her husband, she gets a little more emotionally, and sometimes, physically hurt (such as when she gets an STD).  If she gets pregnant, she does not have the safety net of a husband’s protection and provision, and more importantly, neither does her child.

Men oftentimes can separate their emotions from sex, but women cannot.  Touch releases oxytocin in women immediately.  This doesn’t happen as quickly or as strongly in men.  Women often continue to respect a man after sex, but many men lose respect for the woman who isn’t their wife.  

Ultimately, men respect women more when they say, “no,” and women who do say “no” are more likely to find men who want to marry and provide for them.  This is because, by the time you are caught, he is in love, not just “in lust.”

We women have an innate, God-given desire to bond with a man and to please him sexually; but when he isn’t your husband, it results in sadness, hurt, and eventually, shame.  THIS IS THE TRUTH.

That is why these two words that are found in God’s commandments to women in Titus 2:5 are SO IMPORTANT:  Be chaste.

If you are married and commit adultery, you break the marriage vow you made to your spouse to forsake all others; it breaks the vow you made before God, and it breaks your spouse’s heart.  God Himself declared that a man should leave his parents and cleave to his wife. The wife is given away in marriage to her husband and she is to be true to him (and he to her).  Hebrews 13:4 says that the marriage bed should be undefiled, “Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.” 

One of the 10 Commandments is to not commit adultery.  God knows how devastating adultery is for both spouses, and He made that Commandment to protect us; both the wife and the husband. 

Adultery devastates the adulterer, the spouse, the children, and even the one with whom the adulterer cheated, though the guilt, in some, may not be felt for years, until that person is in a loving marriage and realizes how crushed they would be if their spouse cheated on them.

In the first letter to the Thessalonians, in chapter 4, Paul writes to the church:

God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor— not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. Never harm or cheat a fellow believer in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives. Therefore, anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human teaching but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.

We’ve covered a lot in this little talk about what a man looks for in a woman worthy of being won. 

Try placing this paraphrased verse of Philippians 4:8 in a prominent place to help you live by it: “Whatever things are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, if there be any virtue and praise, think on these things.” For Proverbs 23:7 reminds us, “As (s)he thinks in (her) his heart, so is s/he.” 

May God bless you as you give your life to Him to be molded into His likeness.  Ask Him to help you wait and be worthy of the husband He has for you.


PS: An excellent little pamphlet for pre-teen and teen girls about purity is the story: Stay in the Castle.

Watch this 1 minute video on “What men find most attractive in women.” Mr. Peterson “backs up” what I tried to convey in my post and video.


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