FW 7.2 How Miss Innocent Wins Johnny!

Hello, Beautiful Homemakers!  I've used a static picture in this video so that you can work around the house while listening.  However, there is so much information covered, that I wanted to give you some highlights you can refer back to instead of trying to remember it all.  There is a lot more mentioned in the video than in my highlights.

 

We are finishing up Chapter 14, Undermining the Man's Reserve, today!  This is part 2 to the last video. We cover:  

Five Methods of Procedure: 1) a friendly interest in him - what he thinks, does, and stands for; 2) look for the manly things in his character which you can appreciate and do it; 3) Contrast femininity with bold and daring masculinity; 4) In your treatment of others, show that you have a naturally sympathetic and appreciative character; and 5) Impress him with the fact that you never betray a confidence, and that you hold sacred the thoughts and feelings of others.

Why Johnny Holds Back:  He has the same craving for appreciation that every other man has; inwardly he is continually longing to find someone to whom he can confide these intimate troubles and aspirations and from whom he can expect appreciative understanding.  The trouble is that as yet he is not fully convinced that he can always expect such sympathetic approval from Miss Innocent. 

Innocent's Next Step: She can safely begin to talk about herself. She instinctively endeavors to satisfy Johnny's doubts. She takes captive her bad traits, criticalness of others, and especially her sarcasm.  She eliminates these bad habits to the best of her ability, for she knows these traits endear her to no one.

How the Family Helps: Since she started her baby steps to obtaining a worthy character long ago, back in pamphlet one, her family is used to her beautiful character, her little kindnesses, her appreciative and sympathetic remarks, and they aren't shocked into remarking on how she is acting, for it is normal for her to be so lovely.  Her family trusts and confides in her; Johnny perceives, therefore, that he can trust and confide in her, too!

A Crisis Arrives: If Miss Innocent makes the wrong step here, she will lose Johnny's interest forever.  She must not forget that though Johnny wants sympathetic appreciation, he also wants to act the part of man and hero, the superior and chivalrous male.  With fear and trembling, he confesses to her his lowly employment position.  How she acts, not just in words and deeds, but in her thoughts - as detailed in the video - will make or break her relationship with Johnny.  

[By the way - now that you are aware of this - TEST it yourself. Someone mentioned to me an idea that I didn't think was very good, and immediately I noticed that I betrayed my thoughts with my mouth.  I pursed my lips.  I jutted my lips forward.  Sometimes one gives a little nose wrinkle.  I was so thankful that I was driving and it was dark and the person I was talking to couldn't see my facial reaction to her idea. It is for her (or him) to try and determine on her (or his) own if it will work or not! Instead, I was able to encourage with words, and not caution, but just state facts: "So, you will need to do this much volume to make a profit. You'll soon find out if it's doable!" She may have the know-how to pull the idea off, whereas I wouldn't have.]

Miss Innocent's Predicament: Most girls would sympathize with Johnny at this point.  But their sympathy would be too motherly.  It wouldn't make him feel the man and hero.  

Other girls would betray a "good-fellow" attitude.  They understand his problem, because they have the same problem! They would go overboard in letting him know just how familiar they were with his struggles.  Their mistake is making him their equal.  His desire is to be more able and competent then them. He doesn't want to be compared to them.  He wants to be the one a woman turns to for guidance, protection, and care.

The One Thing to Do:  Miss Innocent used every art and resource at her command to make Johnny feel the man and hero again, to make him realize that she is still bent on looking to him in every situation where the guidance and protection of a real man is required.  Nothing else will restore to him that feeling of glorious manhood that is the heart and soul of her fascination for him.  

She pays no attention to what his position is. That is not the thing by which to measure Johnny's manhood. Instead, she is absorbed in his hopes and aspirations, his ambitions, and his purposes. She is interested in Johnny the man, not in Johnny the clerk.  In his thoughts, and feelings, and his character - that is the Johnny she admires!  She shows that she believes in Johnny the man and hero, and that she finds proof of her belief in his hopes and ambitions.  Not that she SAYS all this!  No, she shows it by setting her thoughts aright, and her actions will follow.  Her facial expressions show her thoughts about him, without her even realizing it!  She goes about contrasting her frail femininity with his firm manliness.  She speaks not of Johnny's present, but of his glorious and heroic future.  

She builds him up until he no longer worries about his humble position, and no longer doubts whether he has lost her good opinion of him with his revelation.  He sees that to her he is the mighty male, and can strut and swagger to his heart's content in her good opinion of him.  And what a glorious and happy feeling it is! 

Today's video brought to mind these videos, from pamphlet 1: 

FW 1.9  Why the Woman Must Be Worthy 

FW 1.10 A Woman Worthy of Being Won  In this video I also discuss what millionaires, who have had successful, long-term marriages of 30+ years, looked for when selecting a wife, as detailed by Thomas Stanley in the book The Millionaire Mind.

FW 1.11 A Woman Worthy of Being One - There is SO MUCH great information in this video, you might want to review it

I do hope the rest of these videos don't take as long as this one did!  I had a lot of "extra" talk that I cut, and even what I put in, I've been wondering if I should have.  It seems so unfair to men, like I should have a disclaimer "Not all men!" and yet, books and stories and my own experiences have borne out what these pamphlets taught, including about how men don't like to be bested by their date.  The degree in which this varies depends on the man and his confidence and skill level, and how secure he is in himself.  So there's my disclaimer :)

 

Note:  I finished re-reading Dandelion Wine, and the story I retold a few videos ago is NOT in the book.  While I loved the first half of this book, the second half isn't very edifying, so overall, I do not recommend the book.

I'm currently reading Gone Away Lake and that one is even better than I remembered!  Read it to a child this summer if at all possible, or just laze outside, getting grounded, and read it to yourself.  The sequel, which is even better than the first (I wrote on the flyleaf), is Return to Gone Away.

It takes well over 8 hours to do a 20 minute video.  In fact, sometimes it takes up to 16 hours, such as the one I'm putting out today.  There is so much involved, and I'm finding that I don't have much time lately to work on videos.  In May I thought this video would be out by the 31st!  But editing was taking too long.  I had to stop when I went to Georgia with my mom to visit her sister; my aunt and uncle.  Upon returning home I just felt like puttering around putting the house to rights, decluttering, and spending time out in the sun with my feet on the grass, soaking up Vitamin D in the shade, and reading a stack of books every day.  So I'm sorry that I disappeared for six weeks.  Several of you checked in with me to make sure all was well - thank you!

May God bless you!  I hear that so many women and men have given up on dating and finding that person who is "perfect" for them.  The KEY is to BE a woman after God's own heart, putting HIM first, and finding a man as committed to God as you are, and then overlooking all the little things he will do wrong, because he is not perfect and never will be.  

If you are already married, just "Love the one you're with," as the old song goes.  Be his ideal wife, and he will try to begin to please you and will turn into your ideal husband.  I know this from experience, too!

Janine