Our Child...Our Bed?

In my view, we have done a radical thing.  We have moved our child’s bed into our bedroom.
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Many women are screeching right now.  But we are getting a fantastic night’s sleep!  Deep sleep.  Contented sleep.  No waking up in the middle of the night sleep.  No little footsteps padding into our bedroom and snuggling into bed with us.

It all started with a nightmare, that our boy still tells in great detail.  Or did it start with the big boy bed? 

My sweet husband, when our child first crawled into bed with us at age 3, said, “I don’t get to see him enough during the day.  I want to snuggle him.”  I told him he’d regret it.  He swears he didn’t regret it, but he was getting tired of being whacked in the face with a stray arm, and kicked in the side to warm little toes.  He would joke that he was going to put his bed in our closet so that he could get a good night’s sleep.

But that got my mind jumping.  Why not?  Why not give up the tiny sitting room I had created to hide out in and read in peace?  Would his bed fit?  Would he stay in it all night?

And then I remembered that Dr. James Dobson of Focus on the Family said that when he was young (but old enough to have vivid memories), his bed was in his parents’ bedroom.  He remembers waking up in the middle of the night and calling, “Daddy,” and his dad would reach out and hold his little hand in his big one.  He said it was so comforting.  

Well if Dr. Dobson slept in his parent’s bedroom, why couldn’t our son?  We got out the tape measure, mapped the room, made a few changes, and voila!  Everyone is sleeping peacefully at our house.

I know that it is a bit extreme, but when you’ve been awakened almost every night for three years, you take extreme measures!  At my mom’s group…every single mother in the room admitted their child/ren crawled into bed with them at night!  One woman said that her daughter's bed is also in their room.  She's 7, and has been in their room since she was adopted 6 years ago.  She also mentioned that this was the norm for the culture she came from.  So maybe it isn't radical after all. 

Now I know many don’t have a large enough bedroom to do this, and many won’t want to, and many will think I am being foolish. 

But when I told my parents, my 81 year old father got tears in his eyes and said, “That is a good thing to do. You won’t regret it.  That is so loving.  You are very loving parents.” 

I’ll bask in my dad’s praise, even though I know I’ll some flack from a few friends and relatives.

UPDATE - one day when he climbed into our bed I climbed into his for the night.  I was shocked at what I discovered - his room was the coldest in the house, and his mattress was hard as a rock.  So he is still in our room, but we bought him a "Cuddle Ewe" mattress cover, and a new pillow, plus a warmer blanket, and he sleeps all night long...in his own bed.

NOTE:  This post has been expanded on ThriveOnOneIncome.com.


  1. Our 6 year old child with autism sleeps right in between us every night. And because of that, it wouldn't be fair to make his sister that is only 18 months older sleep without us so... her day bed is set up right up against my side of the bed. Everynight I fall asleep sandwiched between the most precious little people I know. They are only little once and I am a firm believer that the love we show them today will make them more confident, well adjusted adults who can shine the love of Christ onto their children. In Him, Nicki

    1. Well said! Thank you for sharing that with me. I just love this new arrangement. Plus it is so easy to check to make sure covers are up high enough on cold nights ... or are too high over the head and need to be pulled down some. I'm hearing more stories of people who are making the same decision.

  2. nice post thanks for sharing...looking for to visit more...blessings


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